Note from Lauren:
Today I turn over my blog to a friend of mine, Pia. You may remember her from my last post where
I linked to her tumblr. I did so again. I turn over my blog to her for a post because
she grew up in Puerto Rico and is therefore more familiar with Puerto Rican
history. Take it away Pia:
Until now, I never thought I’d actually need any knowledge
of my little island of Puerto Rico other than, “it has been invaded a lot and
the mongooses are always rabid.” I think I spent most of the time in Puerto
Rican History class doodling on the back of my exams and seeing how many
pencils I could stick in the curly hair of the girl in the previous desk before
she noticed. However, it looks like now a little bit of that knowledge would
come in handy. So, in order to help me with this post, I’ve pulled out my old
seventh-grade textbook. It’s called, Historia
y Geografia de Puerto Rico and it’s very second-hand. In fact, I wouldn’t
be surprised if it were third, fourth, fifth, or even over-nine-thousandth-hand.
It’s so old that Tito Trinidad is mentioned in it as being a young,
promising boxer. Yeah.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Despite the rumors, Puerto
Rican history does not begin and end with Tito’s career. Instead, we must
travel far back in time to find a beginning…
A long, long time ago, though quite a bit after the Big
Bang, the Earth formed out of the extra gas and dust floating around our
newborn Sun. (Or, if you prefer, God/s made it magically appear out of nothing,
because he/she/it/they are/is awesome like that.)
The Earth turned out to be a good place for things to live,
and live they did! Bacteria became worms, which became fish, which became
amphibians, which became reptiles, which became dinosaurs, which died out, thus
saving us from the evil reign of the hyper-intelligent lizard-men that surely
would have evolved down the line. Mammals did not die out, though. They
prospered in the newly dino-free world. Eventually, some of them became apes.
Some of these apes became hominids. Some of these hominids became humans. Then
humans, being the travel-hungry and sex-crazed parasites we are, walked around
and had so many babies that we covered the globe.
Some of these fertile people ended up in Puerto Rico.
Actually, several different waves of them did. According to Historia y Geografia, Puerto Rico was
inhabited at different points by various native tribes such as the Arcaicos,
the Igneris, and the Sub-Tainos. They treated men and women equally, made
ceramic pots, smoked hallucinogenic leaves, ate roast rodents with yucca, shared
everything communally, and walked around naked. In other words: they were like
hippies, only a really long time ago.
The most famous and well-studied tribe of natives, though,
is that of the Taino Indians. They were pretty similar to the tribes mentioned
earlier. They lived in little towns called “yucayeques,” which literally means,
“where yucca is grown.” They were animists, and their primary god was named
“Yucahu.” He was, of course, the god of yucca. (What was it about that little
root that the Tainos were so crazy about? The thing is, that stuff is
DELICIOUS. Also, parts of it are terribly poisonous, adding a very worship-able
life/death connection to a great meal.)
I could write about these folks for ages; they were the most
friendly and relaxed natives ever. They gave the island a beautiful, fitting
name: “Borinquen.” They were lovers, not fighters. Despite this, they were
great at defending themselves against the nomadic Caribe tribes that would come
around periodically to plunder, rape, and pillage. However, eventually they
would come face to face with an enemy they couldn’t defeat: the sadistic
Spaniards.
So, let’s move away from our lovely island and focus on
somewhere else for a moment. Spain, in the year 1493, was a complex place. Just
one year earlier, its paranoid and fanatical Queen Isabella had ordered the
expulsion of all Jews and Muslims from Spain. This act left Spain devoid of
doctors, teachers, architects, and other useful people. Also Portugal, Spain’s
baby sister, had recently turned out to be a child prodigy at trade and
conquest. Spain, ever the jealous older child, needed a new source of wealth,
and it needed it fast. Luckily, the navigator Christopher Columbus had found a
route across the Atlantic Ocean in 1492. In 1493, he set off on his second
journey across the Ocean. This time, though, he used a slightly different
route, which led him – you guessed it – right to the shores of Puerto Rico.
Columbus arrived on the 16th of November of 1493.
There is a verse in our national anthem that describes that moment. It goes:
(translated, of course)
“When on our beaches stepped Columbus,
He exclaimed in full admiration,
‘Oh, oh!
This is the lovely island
I’m searching for!
It’s Borinquen, the daughter;
The daughter of Sea and Sun[…]’”
LIES. Columbus probably never set foot on the island, and he
certainly wasn’t impressed. He just jotted down the island’s position and name
(San Juan Bautista, or St. John the Baptist) before setting off. He never even
met our Tainos. He spent much more time on the Hispaniola (modern-day Haiti and
Dominican Republic) killing theirs.
Although there was one failed attempt at colonization, the
Island wasn’t properly taken over by the Spanish until the summer of 1508. Juan
Ponce de Leon, the famous nutcase who went hunting for the fountain of youth in
Florida, brought 50 men over to St. John the Baptist from the Hispaniola, and
they proceeded to take over. The mining town of Caparra was built near the
location of the modern day city of San Juan. The natives were taken on as
slaves and were used to extract gold. (The native women, of course, were mostly
saved for the beds of the colonists, the original sex- tourists.)
A Taino revolt in 1511 came to nothing, but a ridiculous
number of natives died in the process. After the massacre, the Spaniards found
that they were running out of workers, so they began to do what everyone did back
then: import African slaves! So, the three races that modern Puerto Ricans are
descended from finally began to mix: the Spanish, the Taino, and the African.
While all this was going on, many new towns and cities were
being founded around the Island. There was a lot of gold around in those days,
and many ports grew as trading centers. Gold and ports in the Caribbean can
only lead to one thing: PIRATES!
Puerto Rico was definitely a hub for pirates. There were
hundreds of men running black-market connections between the local islands.
However, there were also much larger-scale hijinks going on: Spanish ships were
prime targets for privateers such as Sir Francis Drake and Sir George Clifford. (My old history teacher described these two especially as
“filthy racist blue-blood pirates.”) At one point, Sir George actually invaded
Puerto Rico and claimed it for the British. Unfortunately, we Puerto Ricans
were deprived of the chance to become monocled tea-drinkers when most of his
crew died of dysentery and he ran away. Stupid pirate.
When gold ran out, Puerto Rico began to be used as farmland.
Many crops, especially sugar cane and, later, coffee [Lauren’s Note: the nectar of the Gods.
I happen to be a particular fan of Caribbean blends.], were grown here. Slavery continued
until the 19th century, when it was abolished without much issue.
Throughout the years, Puerto Rico’s culture, social order, and lifestyle began
to deviate from Spain more and more. Even the dialect of Spanish spoken on the
island became very distinct from that of the old, Iberian Peninsula.
The people of Puerto Rico became very dissatisfied with
Spain. Many began to collect in the town of Lares, where eventually a march
known as the “Grito de Lares” or “Shout of Lares” was held. While the rebels
from this event were defeated, more soon appeared. Eventually, events led to
Puerto Rico receiving the “Letter of Autonomy” from Spain, which essentially
granted it independence.
So, Puerto Rico was doing well for about three months with
its newly democratic bi-cameral government. What could go wrong?
The Spanish-American war broke out, and America invaded
Puerto Rico [Lauren’s Note: Liberated.
America LIBERATED Puerto Rico from their independence. It wasn’t American enough.]. Yes, you read
that right. It was ridiculous, but it happened. The Americans raped and
pillaged their way across an island that they mistakenly believed to be
Spanish. Because, that’s how America rolls [Lauren’s
Note: Damn straight.]. Puerto Rico got Teddy’s big stick up its backside,
and stopped caring about who was in charge.
America built factories. The Island got poorer and lots of
people moved to places like New York and Chicago. Certain governors - like Luis Muñoz Marin who is like our FDR - tried to fix things, and managed well
enough. People still left the island, but no one was starving. Agriculture was
pretty much abandoned, and a middle class finally truly formed. Two political
parties, which are both essentially Democratic, but differ in their position on
Statehood, formed. (The third, the independence party, has no influence whatsoever.)
Globalization, and all the associated problems, hit.
Nowadays, the Island is an interesting mix of the old and
the new. There are no real Tainos, Spaniards, or Africans remaining. Everyone’s
a wonderful mix, as is our culture. Like the Tainos, we eat yucca boiled and
seasoned. We are mostly Christians and speak Spanish, like the Spaniards. Most
of our music and dances have distinctly African roots. We watch MTV and wear
Aeropostale t-shirts and Uggs. (No, I’m not kidding. Even in this heat, Uggs
abound. As does athlete’s foot, I’ve heard.)
And for the future? Well, who knows? I doubt that the
question of whether the Island will become a state will be solved any time
soon. Yet, it seems to me that even as we continue to assimilate global
culture, we Puerto Ricans will remain connected to our own history and culture.
Because, there really is a lot of it, and it is worth preserving.
Thank you, Lauren.
[Thank you Pia!]
